


For tonight, I wouldn't mind being consumed by him

by softvasia



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, College Student Sakusa Kiyoomi, M/M, Omi cries, Post-Time Skip, Pro Volleyball Player Miya Atsumu, Sakusa Kiyoomi Needs a Hug, Soft Miya Atsumu, Stress, Stressed Student Sakusa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29610666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softvasia/pseuds/softvasia
Summary: He was looking for the comfort he needed after having been lost for so many days between books and summaries, folders and notebooks, pencils and markers.Hugs, kisses, caresses.He just wanted to be pampered by the setter.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 86





	For tonight, I wouldn't mind being consumed by him

**Author's Note:**

> Hi :)
> 
> First of all, English is not my first language so if there are mistakes/typos, sorry!
> 
> Second of all, no beta we die like daichi
> 
> and finally, enjoy!

“Fuck”

Sakusa tossed his pencil on top of his summaries and study books and tilted his head back, looking up at the ceiling. With his feet he pushed back the chair where he was sitting on so it would move further away from his desk. If the chair didn't have little wheels on the underside of its legs, he would be concerned about the scratches on his floor, but since that wasn't the case, he sighed.

With his head still tilted back, he closed his eyes and brought his hands up to them. He rubbed them away, trying to chase away the insomnia and stress that had been consuming him slowly and tortuously for several days.

He raised his hand until it was a few inches above his eyes, and looked in the direction of his wrist, at his beautiful wrist-watch that his boyfriend had very kindly given him for their fifth dating month. A month ago.

**1:01 AM**

He sighed. He still had to finish reviewing some remaining texts from a book, read some notes that he had not fully understood, redo some math exercises that he had done wrong, finish the essay that he has to deliver in three days, check his email to see if his teachers had answered...

* _BZZZ*_

Sakusa was startled by the vibrating of his cell phone inside the front pocket of the sweatshirt he was wearing. Alarmed, he sat upright in the chair and reached into his pocket to grab it. He pulled it out, unlocked it and saw that he had a new message.

**_From: Miya_ **

_I hope I'm wrong, but if you're awake doing college stuff, GO TO SLEEP!_

The black-haired man sighed and smiled, a little amused. He thought about not answering the blonde but he wanted to distract himself a bit from the haze his mind was in right now.

**_To: Miya_ **

_Weird. Where did you hide the cameras?_

_PS: I read one more paragraph and finish._

He did not manage to leave his cell phone on the desk that it had already vibrated indicating that he had a new notification.

**_From: Miya_ **

_We've been together for six months; I know how nervous you get the night before your final exams._

_Nah, just kidding. I'm under your pillow ;)_

_PS: If you're not asleep in fifteen minutes, I'm going to go to your apartment and hit that nice ass of yours._

_I care about you, Omi. Please take care of yourself._

The last sentence made a smile - a true, sincere smile - slip from his lips as he put his cell phone on the desk. His legs, which were fully stretched out, he flexed them, bringing them up to his chest and carefully wrapping his arms around them. He rested his chin on his knees and looked in the direction of the books in front of him, scattered all over the desk. Then he closed his eyes. A warm sensation, very warm, was installed in his chest causing his heart to beat fiercely and an unconscious sigh to escape his trembling lips.

Trembling?

When he opened his eyes again, an involuntary tear escaped from his right eye, passing rapidly along his cheek until it reached the line of his jaw, and then fell on his sweatshirt. Kiyoomi blinked again, but this time a tear fell from his left eye. He looked in the direction of the books in front of him and even grabbed one of them and brought it up in front of his face, right in front of his eyes and tried to read what it said. It was not an easy task, as his vision was as cloudy as if he were looking through a misted glass. He passed his sweatshirt's sleeve over his eyes, trying to remove all the tears that had fallen and, with all the will he had, he tried to focus his eyes so that he could read what the damn sentences were saying to distract his damn mind and so to be able to stop crying for a damn time.

It was in vain.

The tears continued to fall freely down his cheeks without any qualms, as if they were an endless sea current. Some he cleaned with his hands or the sleeves of his sweatshirt. Others dropped on his chest or some even reached the floor. Noticing that this seemed to have no near end no matter how hard he tried, the black-haired man sighed, defeated.

Sakusa stretched his legs as far as they reached, leaned his back against the back of the chair, and leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling — again. His hands, previously in charge of erasing the salty drops that were coming out of his eyes, he left them resting on the armrests of the chair, at his sides. He stared up at the ceiling, focused, as he let all his fear, fatigue and stress try to dissipate with each of the drops that ran down his face. He looked up at the ceiling hopefully, wishing that somehow the set of bricks, whitewash and paint in front of his eyes would try to comfort or reassure him, taking pity on the pre-exam crisis he was having.

He looked at the ceiling, tired, eager to pass that damn exam at once.

_*BZZZ*_

"Shit" Sakusa startled, almost jumping out of the chair. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself at least a little. He grabbed his cell phone from above the desk and saw that he had a message from Atsumu. He looked at the time and realized it was 1:16 AM. Fifteen minutes since the last message.

Kiyoomi smiled. What a punctual man.

**_From: Miya_ **

_I imagine you are already sleeping._

He sighed and rolled his eyes as he let a small laugh escape his lips. He sometimes liked Atsumu's distractions. Sometimes.

**_To: Miya_ **

_Yes, I am going through my second dream right now._

The black-haired man pressed send and waited patiently for the setter to reply with some angry or sarcastic comment. He put his cell phone back on his desk, leaned his back against the back of his chair, and looked up at the ceiling for the third time, but this time the stressful thoughts about tomorrow's exam didn't bombard his head, nor the insomnia for not having slept well for a whole week or the fatigue that he felt both physically and mentally.

His head was bombarded with only images of a smiling, annoyed, sarcastic but, above all, adorable blond smiling. Ugh, sometimes he was struck by how cheesy he could be.

Kiyoomi sighed for the umpteenth time in that long night he was having and got up from his chair. He walked slowly to where the backpack he used every day to go to college was, grabbed it, and began putting inside his notebook, sheets and his pencil case, which he would need in a few hours.

He finished packing his backpack and left it next to the exit door of his apartment, ready with all the necessary supplies for the exam. He went to his cluttered desk, full of books, sheets, and little notes of his, and he began to tidy it up a bit.

At one point, when he was about to finish tidying up, he found a small pink slip of paper taped to one of the corners of his desk. Sakusa grabbed it and peeled it off, thinking it might be one of the many notes he writes himself while studying, but no. When he brings it closer to his face so that he can see it –and read it– better, he realizes that the handwriting, written in black ink with a small red heart drawn in one of the corners of it, was not similar to his calligraphy. It was from Atsumu.

_Do your best Omi-kun !! Give all of you !! <3_

_But remember that your health always comes first._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Atsumu._

There was something about college students, or at least in the case of Sakusa, that when final exam dates approached or had to present some work or project, the days before those dates, the stress or anxiety of not knowing if it was going to go well or badly made him feel too attentive, exposed, sensitive. Perhaps it could be due to the agglomeration of emotions, sensations or feelings that one, as a student, went through for several days before the scheduled dates. That disturbing heaviness established in your chest that lasted until the moment before taking the exam, it lasted until the last moment in which you finished writing the last word, the last number of the last exercise of the exam. It lasted until you reached college and turned in the complete work, without any errors or failures and following all the instructions sent by the teachers. Until then, even those little moments, which can be seconds, minutes or hours, until that moment you feel as if you are suffocating, drowning, surpassed by all the hours of study without relief, hours without sleeping properly as a functional human being, sporadic crying during the study sessions or while you are eating or even when you are in the bathroom.

In conclusion, his emotions were on the surface and any action or small gesture that people had with him could make his feelings boil over, surpassing any barrier and leaving him completely defenseless, sensitive.

That is why he was not at all surprised when he felt the tears falling freely again down his cheeks after he finished reading Atsumu's tiny note.

He didn't try to stop the salty drops coming out of his eyes, as it was obviously going to be a failed attempt. He brought the note to his lips and placed a light kiss on it, somehow hoping that that little show of affection would magically reach the setter. He removed the note from his lips and stuck it back where Atsumu had left it, finished tidying up the things that were still scattered and then he changed his clothes. He set the alarm on his phone and went to bed, hoping tomorrow is a good day.

Waiting to pass the exam

Hoping to see Atsumu

*

"So, how did the test go?" Atsumu asked as he drank some water, sitting next to Kiyoomi on the couch in his small living room.

The setter had gone to his apartment as soon as he was out of his practice. The dark-haired man had finished taking his exam just a few hours ago and he didn't feel like cooking or doing any other kind of housework. All he did when he arrived was take a shower and lie down. He sent Atsumu a message telling him that he was already at his apartment, to which the blonde replied if he didn't want him to visit him later and maybe, just maybe, stay the night.

For Sakusa it was impossible to refuse such an attractive offer.

"I don't know, I think I did well." Omi said as he got a little closer to the blonde. His thighs collided. "Let's not talk about this, I need to clear my mind." He turned his head and looked directly into Atsumu's eyes, searching for the specific warmth the blonde brought him.

He was looking for the comfort he needed after having been lost for so many days between books and summaries, folders and notebooks, pencils and markers.

Hugs, kisses, caresses.

He just wanted to be pampered by the setter.

"Come here" Atsumu spread his arms, leaving a large space for the black-haired man to lean on his chest. Sakusa quickly settled on the setter's chest, his arms wrapped around his hips and his head against his chest.

Atsumu ended up lying on the couch, taking Sakusa with him, who did not move a millimeter from Atsumu's chest, leaving the curly-haired man on top of the blonde, the space between them was non-existent.

Kiyoomi strongly inhaled the scent of Atsumu's already known perfume and exhaled. Happy, comfortable. Looking for the much acclaimed peace. He buried his head deeper into the setter's chest, as if trying to merge with him, trying to eliminate any slightest space between them. He brought one of his hands to the man's chest beneath him, leaving it there, feeling how rhythmically Atsumu's heart beat. He brought his other hand up to the setter's back, hugging him. Sakusa muttered in contentment when he finished settling in.

For his part, Atsumu rested his chin on the curls of Omi’s head, wrapped his arms around his waist, and held him firmly but gently against him. He could tell how tired he looked –and probably felt- Kiyoomi, so he was going to try to comfort him and calm him down as best he can.

After several minutes lying on the couch in the same position, Atsumu thought that perhaps Sakusa had fallen fast asleep, so he tried, as subtly and stealthily as possible, to get out from under the black-haired man to go to the kitchen to prepare a tea.

Failed mission.

When he removed his hands from around Kiyoomi and tried to escape from under him, Sakusa, with his arms wrapped tightly around him, brought his head to the curve of the blonde's neck, hiding there as he sighed.

"You're leaving now?" Sakusa's lips brushing against the sensitive skin of his neck sent shivers down the length of his spine, but what made him shiver the most was the tone with which those words came out of his mouth. Sleepy, heartbroken, sad.

A painful pressure was installed in Atsumu's chest upon hearing it like that. He felt as if his heart was about to disintegrate from how much it hurt to hear him like this.

"Of course not, Omi-kun" Atsumu gently ran his fingers through the black curls of Omi’s head. "I was just going to make myself some tea, do you want me to bring you one?" he asked softly, to which Kiyoomi nodded. Still reluctant, Kiyoomi loosened the tight grip he had around Atsumu, letting him slip from under him to head to the kitchen to make their teas.

He rolled over on the couch lying on his back, staring up at the spotlight hanging from his ceiling. Occasionally, his sight was lost, moving further and further from the reality he was in, losing himself in the noisy abyss that was his deep and remote thoughts.

Yes, the exam had already passed. Yes, he would have to relax. But there were times, like this moment, when his mind just didn't cooperate to rest. Thousands of thoughts assailed him relentlessly _. Will he pass the exam? How many points will they deduct him for having done some activities wrong? He was sure that he completed all the activities but, if due to the nerves of the moment, he forgot to do any activity?_

Kiyoomi sighed. Those were usually the questions that bombarded his head when he arrived at his apartment after completing his exam. But this time, those intrusive thoughts weren't as strong inside his head as they used to.

From where he was lying, with his head resting on one of the armrests of the couch, he could take small glimpses of the movements that the blond made in the small kitchen of his apartment.

_Atsumu, why are you still here? Why do you have to be the one to put up with my post-exam bad mood? I should have told you not to come, right? No human being would have to deal with a person like me who doesn't talk much, who is in a bad mood and is serious most of the time but who, inside, has a jumble of compressed emotions and feelings waiting to come out. Tomorrow is your day off, right? Why didn't you stay in your apartment to rest instead of coming here to deal with an emotionally constipated college student?_

"Omi-kun!"

Sakusa was startled, abruptly emerging from the pit of thoughts that was his mind at the moment. He glanced quickly in the direction of the voice that had just alarmed him, finding himself, in front of his eyes, with a delicate and steaming cup of tea. He looked up, meeting hazel eyes so clear they looked almost like molten gold. They were friendly, nice, warm.

“I know you must still be feeling a bit anxious about your exam, so I made you this linden tea. Drink it slowly, it's hot. " Atsumu said and smiled, his eyes narrowing like the little fox that he is.

That was the straw that broke the camel's back for Kiyoomi.

They first came out in the form of small, delicate sobs, then turned into a cry filled with tears, sobs and whimpers.

Atsumu quickly put Kiyoomi's tea and his, that was in his other hand, on the table in front of the couch and sat next to him, passing one hand around his shoulders and with his other hand he drew the black-haired man´s head towards his chest. Atsumu began to run his fingers through Sakusa's curls as he muttered soothing, comforting words.

_Why?_ Kiyoomi thought

_Why are you so attentive with me?_

He shook his head - still pressed against Atsumu's chest - and sank deeper into it. Atsumu took his legs and passed them over his, which made Sakusa move, so now the black-haired man was sitting on the setter's thighs, with his head hidden in the curve of his neck and his arms around his back. Atsumu had reached under his shirt and was slowly stroking his back, while the other was still buried in Kiyoomi's black curls, gently caressing his scalp.

They were like this for about fifteen or twenty minutes, with Sakusa calming his sobs little by little and Atsumu caressing him and giving him little kisses on his cheek, his neck or where one of the many tears that Kiyoomi shed traced the path.

"Well, if you wanted your tea to be hot I think that is not going to be possible now." Atsumu whispered as a small laugh escaped his lips.

Sakusa snorted and shifted slightly, detaching his head from the setter's neck. He sat a little straighter on his lap and looked him straight in the eye, his own red and swollen.

"Sorry about this scene, I'm not usually like that in front of anyone but when I'm very anxious or nervous, I sometimes cry..." Sakusa was interrupted by a finger pressing on his lips.

"I understand, Omi-kun. You don't have to force yourself to explain anything you don't want to, I just want to be there for you and accompany you right now. " The blonde pulled his finger from Kiyoomi's lips. “If you want us not to talk about the exam, then we won't. If you want, we can stay quiet and just snuggle; or if you want I can only speak and you listen to me. " Atsumu paused and glanced at Kiyoomi. “These last few days the practices were hellish, but fun. I found this hybrid serve that this player from Russia does and I really loved it. I started practicing it a few days ago but it's hard as shit, but I'm going to make it, just bear with me.” Atsumu stopped for a moment and then continued. "Did you know that Bokkun and Akaashi-kun are..."

And Atsumu went on and on talking for who knows how long. The man spoke and spoke and between each tiny pause he made to take a breath to continue speaking, he left a small and fleeting kiss on Kiyoomi's forehead. Sometimes he wrapped his arms around him or other times he stroked his back or his head; slowly, gently, sweetly.

After a few minutes of listening to Atsumu's non-stop talking, he stopped. Silence flooded the room as it had been before the setter arrived, but now he counted on him to let it pass. Kiyoomi liked the silence, it relaxed him, relieved him, but sometimes a silence as loud and strong as that made his mind as noisy as such. Think, think and think. It was something so common but, at times, so overwhelming.

Kiyoomi shifted a bit from his place, poked his head off the nape of Atsumu and looked him straight into his eyes, with deep adoration for the blonde in them.

"I can't believe you could have gone more than ten minutes without speaking."

"Oh my god, I thought you were going to say something like 'thank you for supporting me' or 'what a nice boyfriend I have', I can't believe you told me that."

Atsumu snorted and threw his head back as Kiyoomi laughed at the blonde's reaction. The curly-haired man leaned forward and began to spread small kisses along Atsumu's jaw and neck. The setter laughed.

Sakusa leaned back a bit, looking at the blonde, who still had his head thrown back and had a relaxed smile on his face. His eyes were closed and he was muttering a song unknown to Kiyoomi.

As Atsumu kept muttering the song in his head, Kiyoomi lost himself in thought.

Many times, Atsumu was unable to see how easy to love he really was. Hidden behind that appearance of smugness and pride, one would think it was difficult to connect with someone like that, and shit, Kiyoomi would be lying if he said that the first impression he had of Atsumu was good, because it was not like that; It was fatal. Seeing him for only a few days during tournaments and at camps when they went to high school showed him just his façade; the arrogant and presumptuous Atsumu that he himself wanted people to see.

But that was not the only Atsumu to meet.

There was also the Atsumu who cried or was moved by the slightest act of love directed towards him. There was also the Atsumu who would help his brother when he asked, regardless of the time or place where he was at that time; and not just with his brother, but with any of his friends. There was the Atsumu who helped his teammates with things related to volleyball or things that had nothing to do with volleyball. There was the Atsumu who laughed at him when he screamed or jumped when they watched a horror movie, but then pulled him into an iron hug as he spread kisses over his head and whispered nice things in his ear to calm him down. There was the Atsumu who knew how frustrated Sakusa got the days before his exams and how badly he took care of his health during those days, so he always took it upon himself to call or text him, asking him if he ate well, if he slept well or if he took any breaks since he started studying; and there were even times when he visited him.

There was the Atsumu who poured his heart into every pass he gave to his spikers. There was the Atsumu who put all his passion into every serve he made during a game, showing not only to the opposing team, but also to those who were watching the game how much life and enthusiasm he put on the court.

I'm whipped, aren’t I?

Sakusa always had a hard time relating to people, he was very rough and too sincere for what was socially accepted. When he tried to talk to someone, strike up a conversation, create a friendship apart from his cousin, he always ended up mentally exhausted. Sometimes he felt as if people consumed his energy as they spent more time with him, leaving him unwilling to do anything once they left him alone. Exhausted. Not wanting to interact with any other existing human being.

All people consume you, even good people. But even so, sometimes, very from time to time he supposes, someone appears who makes your interior vibrate with excitement, makes your heart fill with hope and your vision flood with life; and you think _yes_ , it may leave me without energy, it may consume me, _but maybe, just maybe, this time it might be worth the effort._

And boy was it worth it.

Kiyoomi shook his head a little to drive away all thoughts that were distancing him from reality. A reality that he loved. A reality where he was sitting astride Atsumu's lap. Said man kept his head tilted back and continued with his soft humming.

Sakusa put his hands on the setter's shoulders and leaned forward, gently connecting his lips with Atsumu's, to which he quickly reciprocated, wrapping one of his arms around Kiyoomi's waist and bringing his other hand to the back of his neck, guiding Sakusa and trying to deepen the kiss. Sakusa happily allowed it.

When they broke away from the kiss, they stared into each other's eyes. Their breaths had sped up a bit.

"I was about to start singing out loud to see if you would rush to kiss me."

"You're an Idiot."

They both laughed and stared into each other's eyes, silently. It was as if they were in a small bubble where only they were the protagonists. Only they professing, through their eyes, the sweet love they felt for each other.

"Do you want to go to the room?"

Atsumu slightly opened his mouth, letting out a small sigh at Kiyoomi's question. He nodded.

"Yes, let's go"

_For tonight_ , Kiyoomi thought.

For tonight he forgot his responsibilities, his homework and his studies for a few hours.

_For tonight, I wouldn't mind being consumed by him._

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember Atsumu's words: your health always comes first!
> 
> In the short angst fic that I published almost two months ago, I had promised that I would publish something fluff so here I am
> 
> "Everyone is exhaustive. Even the best ones. But sometimes, once in a blue goddamned moon, I guess, someone, like this moonflower, just might be worth the effort." - Jamie from the series "The Haunting of Bly Manor".  
> This dialogue and the fact that I was stressed about college were my inspiration for writing this fic lol. I was fascinated by Jamie's words and thought "oh man I have to write something about this because it's so damn true." I wanted to write that dialogue as it was in the series but I had to change it a bit. This is how I wrote it:
> 
> "All people consume you, even good people. But even so, sometimes, very from time to time he supposes, someone appears who makes your interior vibrate with excitement, makes your heart fill with hope and your vision flood with life; and you think yes, it may leave me without energy, it may consume me, but maybe, just maybe, this time it might be worth the effort."
> 
> Anyways, If you want to yell at me I’m on twitter: [MIYAKIYOOMl](https://mobile.twitter.com/MIYAKIYOOMl)
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
